A Lady In The Locker Room.

After days of incessantly dissecting and discussing the socially primitive culture of manliness that pervades NFL locker rooms, the Lions have the aid of a friendly female in theirs.

Lady Luck wears Honolulu Blue in 2013.

What was Bears’ coach Marc Trestman thinking by sending a hobbled and mostly immobile Jay Cutler back out for the second half?

He was probably thinking Cutler’s powerful arm strength would be enough to continue to effectively deliver passes to Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery.

I agreed with that sentiment.

At 14-7 Lions, during the Bears second drive of the second half, had Jeffery caught a first down pass from Cutler for touchdown, the Bears approach to the game may have been different. It seemed that after that drive Cutler’s health and play deteriorated drive by drive.

Cutler was 4 of 13 for 19 yards after the drive with the Jeffery dropped TD ended in a field goal.

14-10 Lions.

If that’s a touchdown, perhaps Marc Trestman doesn’t feel so compelled to continue to use Cutler to chase the game. Instead, it’s a handshake, pat on the butt and backup Josh McCown, who’s had commendable games against Washington and Green Bay, comes in during the 6th inning to try and earn the win for Trestman, Cutler and the Bears.

It didn’t happen.

Oh yes, Lady Luck.

Two weeks after a Tyron Smith cost Dallas a win in Detroit, the Bears lost TWO touchdowns on the same fourth quarter possession. First, a hold by Matt Slauson on the smoothest run by Matt Forte all afternoon called back those six points. Three plays later, the Lions begin to see balance in the football universe when Jeffery (him again) can’t complete the process of the catch to make it a 17-14 Bears lead.

More luck?

On the ensuing drive, a Christian Joseph Fauria personal foul (do the Lions get called for any other fouls? Doesn’t seem like it) costs the Lions at least three points. The call on Fauria took the Lions from the from the red zone back to the Bears 32. Six points were a ways off now, and four plays later David Akers narrowly missed a 45 yard field goal.

An ineffective Cutler leads the Bears to a swift forty four second 3 and out.

Making amends for an unconscionable interception two drives early, a steady Stafford lofts a perfect score to Calvin. Up 20-13 now, the Lions SHOULD HAVE GONE FOR TWO.


If you convert, the game is essentially over, barring Lady Luck being a twisted double agent in the waning moments.

If you don’t convert, it’s still 20-13 and only Riverboat Ron scores the next TD and goes for two. Are you kidding?! If the Bears score next, they’re kicking the extra point and it goes to overtime. In other words, there’s NO REASONABLE WAY the Lions could have lost the game on the proceeding drive. Go for two, get it, go home 6-3.

Standard issue extra point is good. 21-13.

MORE Luck?!

Bears score. 21-19.

On the two point try, Willie Young ferociously, but haplessly, commits a personal foul (see above), and the Bears get another shot to tie the game.

Lady Luck whispers in the ear of Trestman, ‘Pssssst, Marc, Marshall + Jeffery have ravaged the Lions secondary for 16 catches, 253 yards and two scores (almost four counting Jeffery’s follies)…they’ll never suspect a run up the middle from a unit that averaged 1.9 yards a touch on 20 carries all afternoon. Do it Marc.

You know they spot the ball for two points conversions on the two, right? If someone had told Trestman they’d not gotten TWO yards a carry on the day, perhaps he’d have gone with the CORRECT call, and thrown it to one of his mammoth pass catchers.


Forte goes 1.9 yards backwards and the Lions win.

Good fortune always finds its way to teams who deserve it. I think Lady Luck enlisting for the Lions is the prize for Jim Schwartz wrangling the really, really, boneheaded plays out of his team, and the continued maturity from the super rich franchise QB.

Lady Luck also broke Aaron Rodgers collarbone.

Where was she when Sam Martin botched a punt against Cincy, and couldn’t heal Reggie Bush’s legs in Arizona? She doesn’t work EVERY week.

Pittsburgh gave up 55 points to the Patriots last week, so they took out that embarassment on a returning rookie, EJ Manuel, this week in their victory. They’re still terrible.

A discriminating focus should have the Lions at 8-3 on Thanksgiving against the Packers. Without Rodgers, the Lions should then be 9-3(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

With @Phi, Balt, NYG, @Min to finish the Lions should be division winners for the first time since 1993 at 11-5, and ready to welcome Chicago, Green Bay or Carolina (long shots Phi or Dal) to Ford Field for their first home playoff game since 1993 when the Packers defeated the Lions in the Silverdome 28-24 in one of the league’s greatest games.

We’ll see if Lady Luck still peers over the shoulders of the 6-3 Lions, or whether Detroit will out-SOL themselves over the season’s final seven weeks.


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