On Braun.

I only care about one thing in regards to the Ryan Braun fiasco.

What are his numbers going to be in 2014. Is he going to look like a weakling until his deal ends in 2021?

In over 4100 plate appearances, Braun’s accumulated 211 home runs, 130 stolen bases and notched an OPS of .938.

Over the course of a mostly healthy career, those numbers would make Braun a great of his time.

But, he cheated, and he’ll wear a scarlett S (for steroids), P (for PEDS), or A (for asshole) for the rest of his time connected to the game of baseball.

What percentage of Braun’s stellar stats were generated by earnest means?

What additional stats, skills and merits were achieved by Braun’s use of PEDs?

We should find out next year, and really that’s all I care about, because quite candidly your hollow opinions amuse me.

Bartolo Colon, suspended for 50 games last year, may brazenly have used again in the offseason and that’s why he was an All Star this year, and sits at 13-3 with an ERA under 3 and an AL leading 3 complete games and shut outs.

Are most of Colon’s 184 wins completely disingenuous? He collected most of those victories during the prime days of the PED era in MLB, and capped it off with a 21 win season in 2005, and a Cy Young. Is it legitimate?

While Braun defies the somewhat embarassing conventional wisdom that seemingly most users came from Latin America, Colon IS from the Dominican Republic, so I apologize if you view me as a profiling Colon, or other players of his skin color moving forward. It’s convenient to profile those players, but really, you can just drape an umbrella of doubt over all of the game.

MLB’s collective actions, or inactions, in regards to PEDs in the game over the last few decades is what’s ignited the fire on my witch hunt of cynicism.

That’s right. You’re the foolish one who now feels cheated by what Braun did, not me.

If the Brewers players who rode Braun – and others – to the playoffs multiple years feel cheated and embarassed, feel free to give back your playoff share. Take down the ’08 and ’11 playoff banners, without Braun those likely don’t hang.

As a fan, if you feel that you’ve been deceived…well, where the f&*k were you during the muscled up 90s, and then the early and mid 00s?! You’ve probably lambasted MLB in the past for its inability to be open minded and progressive. At THIS very moment there’s likely not a single fan who doesn’t want expanded replay implemented before the weekend! Yet, MLB moves…at…a…snail’s….pace.

Didn’t you doubt their strength and preseverence to rid the game as much as they possibly could of cheaters? Players union or not, testing has been weaker than it could’ve been.

You think MLB has a difficult time getting out calls correct, and you expected them to nab complex hustlers in their game?


You’re a parent who has to explain to their child that one of their favorite players accomplished what he did by cheating? Ok? And? I don’t have kids, but I think that’s called parenting and I think it’s 99.8% of your responsibility once you assume that role in life. Why are you letting a game, and Ryan Braun ‘parent’ your kid. It’s been said dozens of times since Tuesday, but yea, Barkley was and IS STILL right.

Colon was banned 50 games last year. Yet he was selected as an All Star this year…I’m uncertain, but it was either by the players – many, who anonymously despise and loathe cheaters (or is it really just gloaters like Braun) – or the manager. The A’s closer, Grant Balfour was equally deserving of making the ASG, which he eventually did as a relpacement, but yet where’s the outrage for Colon being selected, which essentially amounts to a celebration of his skills and merits. (I’ll repeat my thoughts of a few weeks ago, if you’re a player is suspended for PEDs, you forfeit your right to participate in future All Star games.)

God, you people.

Colon was one of the game’s finest pitchers for a solid half decade.

Melky Cabrera was fourth outfielder most of his career.

Then he was playing for a big contract in 2011 when he reached 706 plate appearances and a shockingly high OPS of .809 for the Royals.

From meddling fourth outfielder to All Star Game MVP last year. Well, that’s surprising. Then he got suspended. Now, on a TWO YEAR $16 million dollar deal for the Blue Jays Cabrera is back to being what he always was. Average.

If your suspicions weren’t peaked during Melky’s first few months of last year, then I have some stock in a football team in Cleveland to sell you. A Bay Area reporter thought something was rotten in the state, tweeted about it, got obliterated for it, and then woops, turns out he was right! Google that story.

Phillies fans couldnt wait for Carlos Ruiz to get back into the lineup after his 25 game suspension for Adderall. Ruiz was ‘breaking out’ with a .935 OPS at 33(!) last year. I enjoyed it for my Phillies fan friends, but last year my eye brow was arched so high it was like it was regenerating my hairline.

The same Tiger fans destroying Braun, are suddenly discovering religion to avoid a Jhonny Peralta suspension. Yes, the Peralta that lost a bunch of weight after a dreadful ’12 campaign and has been raking since spring.

You’re ignorantly idyllic for thinking MLB was going to totally rid itself of cheaters and users in the post-Mitchell Report world.

Not to defend A-Rod, but the Yankees, speaking of naivete (and a setting rife with PED players over the years), placed historical milestone incentives in his re-upped ’08 deal, in my mind enabling and empowering his devious ways. I think this is one of those, don’t hate the player, hate the game moments.

As long as there’s much to gain, and often little to lose (Braun is still due $117 million from the Brewers & I doubt Colon cares much for his reputation), various players, not all though, across all sports will constantly try to gain an edge.

You can be pissed at Braun for his pompousness and arrogance after he skated from the first 50 game suspension, but you have only yourself to blame in the future if you fall in love with a player’s performance or success, only to be numbed with disappointment if it turns out his skills weren’t as genuine as you’d thought. And, sorry, because of the culture baseball has enabled it over the last few decades, no one is safe from MY cynicism. I run a 24/7 witch hunt. My closet has nothing but brooms of all colors, shapes and sizes.

I think your outrage at Braun is feigned. You feel that way because YOU allowed yourself to get suckered. YOU don’t want to explain life to your kid.

Braun can immediately renounce himself as the 2011 MVP and cede his award to Matt Kemp. I’m certain many of you with boiling hatred would instantly turn into Braun sympathizers, which would be fine because that would be a magninimous gesture, and a truthful first step towards redemption…because damn don’t we like second chance stories in our culture. (As cynical as I am, I may just think Braun is doing it to quickly regain fans, not in such a noble way I suggested).

Braun was banged up this year, and has only played in 61 games. Was he so filled with impenetrable hubris that after dodging a 50 game suspension, did he continue to use? Or was his 61 game .869 OPS an honest one?

So what will it be next year Mr. Braun?

Can he possibly maintain his career output? There’s NO WAY he’ll keep trying to cheat and beat the system.

Will Braun become just an average everyday MLBer?

Or will Braun become something less, something more Melky-like? Or worse.

I can’t wait to find out.

I know this went in a maniacal zig zag of directions, but you don’t really care that Braun cheated, it’s that he attackingly beguiled his words afterwards.

People lie everyday. Don’t be a sucker.


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